Am I strong enough, fast enough, smart enough, tall enough, rich enough, or even healthy enough? Am I good enough? Am I good enough to deserve to get what I want? Whether you are aware of it or not, these are questions we often ask ourselves, both consciously and subconsciously. My answer is, You Are Enough.
Now, what makes one feel that he IS enough, and what makes one feel that he IS NOT enough? TAKING OWNERSHIP. And, what is that all about?
You only own what’s inside your heart and your soul. You don’t own anything outside of yourself. Literally, everything outside of your heart and your soul owns you. In order for you to feel “good enough,” you need to take full responsibility for everything you feel, regardless if it feels good or bad. Whether you feel fat or skinny, smart or not that smart, pretty or not pretty, or anything either positive or negative, you need to understand that this is just how you feel. It doesn’t mean that you actually are fat, or ugly, or stupid or not good enough. Often, we feel proud when we feel good; however, we often tend to blame others when we don’t feel the way we’d like to feel. Taking ownership of how you feel doesn’t mean that you approve or agree with how you feel – (as if your opinion could make you feel better, duh…). Taking responsibility doesn’t mean that you ARE what you feel. It just simply means that you are the one feeling it.
In order to better know yourself and, thus, to feel “good enough,” you need to take full responsibility for how you feel, even when other people or events might cause you to feel otherwise. Remember this: often, the feelings you may currently be experiencing are the emotions you have been storing within you for some time. These emotions are released when people or events connect you with your past.
If you had a tumultuous childhood, you’re probably going to store a lot of negative emotions within you that will eventually need to be released, somehow. And, that is when you’re going to look for a scape-goat. When we legitimately feel hurt and in pain, it is normal to blame others for how we feel in our effort to disassociate from the part of us that is feeling the hurt and pain. Although we might experience temporary pain relief by pointing a finger outside ourselves, in the long run, we’ll slowly lose touch with that inner side of ourselves. The pain won’t go away, but, rather, we’ll become numb to it. Eventually, that will make us feel “less” about ourselves. If we don’t start taking responsibility for our emotions, the feeling of lack will spread over into all areas of our lives.
Getting to know yourself means taking full responsibility for and understanding why you feel the way you feel. As a result of this learning process and self-examination, the next time you are being hurt, or come into contact with someone who has hurt you in the past, you won’t feel that same pain again, and/or you’ll be able to prevent that feeling of hurt from taking over your whole body.
Taking responsibility for how you feel means accepting the pain – or the joy – that you already feel. Since you are already being affected by this emotion, you might as well let that feeling flow through you. Eventually, it will diminish if you do not resist what already IS.
Just as everyone else, you feel pain and joy. Like everyone else, you will go through good and bad times, highs and lows. You are going to feel strong and weak, good enough and not so good. You’re going to have good days and bad days. It’s called LIVING. However, as soon as you accept that you are solely responsible for everything that you feel, you are going to fill up your self-esteem tank and feel GOOD ENOUGH TO ACCOMPLISH YOUR GOALS.
Whether it be JOY or PAIN, HIGHS or LOWS, feel all your emotions and accept that you are the one in control – not only of them but of their outcome.
Leo Frincu is a world wrestling champion, author, speaker and performance coach for business leaders and athletes worldwide. To learn more about his training philosophy, check out his latest book, “WELCOME HOME, 3 Simple Steps On How To Reach Your Highest Potential,” available on Amazon and iBooks.