That’s a question we all rush to answer with a NO when things don’t go our way.

Please allow me to share with you a new and more effective way to look at your goals, dreams and, yes, even your life.

Your life is entirely made up of goals. Your goals are the structure, the foundation that supports your entire existence. From small goals to big ones, they are the reason we go to bed at night and the reason we wake up in the morning. Our goals are what make us laugh or cry, happy or sad.  They motivate us either to work hard or to do the opposite, to procrastinate. Our goals are what influence our lives and dictate our moods, not the other way around.

Since life, itself, is not responsible for our loses, and neither does it take credit for our victories, the question isn’t whether life is fair to you or not.  The question is: are your dreams too big and your goals too unrealistic?

Often, our dreams become too big and our goals out of reach when achieving them requires something from us that we are not willing to give. Please note that I said, “not willing.”  I didn’t say that we don’t have what it takes to achieve our goals. We do. However, unfortunately, we either stop too soon or too short.

As a performance coach in the Fitness Industry for over two decades and having worked with thousands of people, I have never heard someone say that they wanted to lose just a pound, or wanted to make just an extra $100 per month, or wanted to meet someone just slightly less abusive and dysfunctional than their previous partner.  It’s only natural that we all want the best for ourselves. People want only the “best” and the “most.”  Whether it’s winning the lottery or achieving the ideal body or meeting our life-long partner, we never cut ourselves short when it comes to what we think we deserve.  Now, the question is, how much are you willing to give in order to get what you want?

Personally, I believe that most people are not willing to give as much as they are willing to receive.  The less you’re willing to give, the more you’ll have to do to achieve your goals, and the longer it will take. It is as simple as that.

For example, your extra weight will immediately become too heavy and too hard to lose as soon as you begin to complain about having to eat less and exercise more.  The same goes for every goal you have.  Increasing your income will immediately become an impossible task as soon as the work you’d need to put in becomes too boring or too hard or too much to bear. The same goes with relationships and, even, with finding happiness. You will slowly begin to tolerate a toxic relationship as soon as you start believing you don’t deserve a better one. You might not consciously admit that to yourself, but that’s the naked truth.

Since your goals are so important and valuable to you, what makes you believe that they’re going to become reality by doing less to accomplish them?

Furthermore, who made you the judge of how long or how much work it will take to achieve your goals?

The size of your dream is directly proportionate to the amount of work you need to do in order to bring that dream to reality.  If you complain about how long it will take to achieve your goals or about how hard it will be, why don’t you choose something less difficult for yourself?

Don’t blame LIFE for its difficulties. Blame yourself for not having the patience or the work ethic or enough discipline to bring your dreams to reality. Life is Life. Everything is going the way it is supposed to go. Life isn’t against you. Actually, it’s just the opposite. The problem is that you need to get on the same page with LIFE.

Instead of trying to control it, for once, why don’t you try to accept Life? Accept what it takes and how long it takes to live your dreams. Accept the process, itself. By accepting what it takes to achieve your goals, you will, literally, be giving yourself permission to live your dreams. By accepting the current life you have right now, you are actually giving yourself permission to live a better one. Don’t blame LIFE. You owe your dreams a fair chance to become reality. You owe yourself a fair shot to live the very best life you can. Do it with HARD WORK; do it with DISCIPLINE; do it with PATIENCE.



Leo Frincu is a world wrestling champion, author, speaker and performance coach for business leaders and athletes worldwide. To learn more about his training philosophy, check out his latest book, “WELCOME HOME, 3 Simple Steps On How To Reach Your Highest Potential,” available on Amazon and iBooks.