This is a question everyone struggles with once they’re given a choice. Everyone wants something different at any given time. What everyone wants is a reason to be happy, and to feel good.
Yep. W e j u s t w a n t t o F E E L G O O D.
After working so hard to get what we want, we realize, to our bewilderment, that what we wanted was is not necessarily what we needed. We might all want to feel good but believe it or not, most people don’t know how to achieve that organically. The reality is, most people don’t know how to feel good until introduced to sex, alcohol, drugs, sugar or any other mood altering substances or activities.
Among many other things, our parents taught us how to walk and speak, how to behave and react. Also, these caretakers showed us what love is. We learn trust, faith and hope at early ages, but no one ever really taught us how to feel good. Feeling good is something we learn on our own. Milk can stop a baby from crying, candy and chocolate puts a smile on a child’s face, and alcohol and food brings people together to celebrate.
These are just a few things that help us feel good. But what happens when these things are not available?
How are you going to feel when you can’t drink alcohol, or you’ve already eaten way too many candies, or dinnertime is still hours off?
How are you going to feel when none of these mood altering tools are not available, and you’re left alone with nothing but your body?
First, you are going to keep yourself busy and away from feeling anything. That’s how athleticism was formed and how champions are built. That is how businesses thrive, inventions are born and art is created. We are staying busy trying to generate some feelings, or even better, express what we are longing for. The people who are able to do this are only about five percent of the population. These are the ones who somehow figured out something to keep themselves from going crazy.
And what about the rest of the folks out there?
Well, they are going to feel confused, disoriented and often depressed. Most people just don’t know how to feel good within their own body and mind because no one taught them how. Athletes are oftentimes getting hurt striving to achieve “good feelings” by training harder. The entrepreneurs do it by building businesses and making money. Then there are others buy buying cars, clothes, and jewelry. They drink, eat, have sex, take drugs, or use any other outside stimulants they can find. The only problem is that these agents don’t bring “good feelings”. They merely bring pleasure, or better said, they release pressure. These agents don’t make us “feel good,” and of course, neither do codependence, comfort or ignorance. Trust me on that one.
Feeling good isn’t just temporary. It has long term effects and impacts more than just one area of your life. Feeling good is a mind-set rather than a higher dosage of alcohol or a juicy burger. Feeling good is a long-term goal. It is a life purpose. Feeling good is something you are not born with. It is something you learn and achieve. Now you might wonder, what about kids? Don’t they feel good without being taught how to do it?
Kids are not rational. They feel good but don’t know they do. They aren’t rationally aware of it. And that’s why you aren’t aware of what’s really missing in your life when you reach adulthood. Because your rational mind is now part of the equation, and it confuses everything.
How many times have you said out loud “I feel good,” and how many times have you made the opposite statement “I don’t feel good.”?
I bet you always make sure to bring it to your attention when you don’t feel good. It is because that is the way our society, our culture and our parents thought us. If “they” don’t know, you don’t know. You end up doing what “they” did.
You always recognize when you don’t feel good, then you go further and try to investigate how it happened.
I am not talking about when you get the flu, have a stomachache or have had some physical accident.
I’m talking about all the negative self-talk that is going one every day without your knowledge. I’m talking about feeling low or depressed.
It is quite intriguing how people have been trained to equate feeling good with a mere absence of sickness. Believe it or not, feeling good takes more than that. Remember this. For anything to exist to YOU… you need to acknowledge it. In order to feel good, you need to know what organically feeling good means and how you can achieve it.
But what does “feeling good” mean?
Feeling good is not just physical or just mental. Feeling good is combining the physical and the emotional. Feeling good is feeling accomplished and having purpose. Feeling good is being in the right place at the right time. Feeling good is being strong and secure, loved and needed, motivated and inspired, free and grounded. Feeling good can only be achieved by having your best interests in mind. You are always in the business of feeling good. Anything different than that is being in the wrong business. Feeling good is a conscious choice and a lifestyle.
We want something at any given moment, but not everything that we want is going to make us feel good. You can get drunk or stoned, but how are you feeling when reality knocks at your door? Only poor people believe that money brings happiness. Recovered addicts will always tell you that all these mood-altering substances (or actions), will only bring you more pain rather than make you feel good.
No matter what you are doing, your number one goal should be feeling good being you. Whether it’s exercising or gardening; whether is working or resting; whether it’s being or doing, your number one goal at the end of any task, or day is to feel good in your own skin and about yourself. The only way you can achieve that is to be true and stand up to yourself.
Here are just a few examples of what you need in order to feel good:
* Know what your goals are and if they are valid.
* Set realistic expectations.
* Admit your mistakes and take responsibility.
* Seek help but also offer help.
* Build on your strengths and acknowledge what needs to be fixed.
* Let go of your problems.
* Love more and hate less.
* Be nice to yourself and to the people around you. Remember, they are around you for a reason.
* Find joy in small things, but don’t fall in love with material ones.
* Take deeper breaths, drink more water, eat more fruits and vegetables and exercise more often.
* Be more curious about your feelings and ask “why” more often.
* Last but not the least, have more fun, laugh more often, take more chances, have more faith and believe in yourself.
Thank you and good luck.