What if I asked you if you could do 20 push-ups?  Or better yet, how many other people do you think can do 20 push-ups… run a mile… lose excess weight… accomplish their goals… live their dreams?  Not many, you’d probably say.  But the reality is, most people are physically capable of accomplishing their goals.

Then, why don’t they?  Because they don’t believe that they can or believe that they will.  Most of us don’t believe that others can accomplish these things, either.  That’s why shows like The Biggest Loser or The Bachelor or The Survivor have such big audiences.  These shows are successful because we, the audience, don’t believe that people can achieve that level of success, and we’re simply fascinated when we witness them doing it. 

Your belief-system is supported by the “stories” you tell yourself on a daily basis.  Every single day, you gather information that will support what you already believe about yourself and others.  Whether you tell yourself that the mile in front of you should be run in a certain amount of time or whether that mile should be run without stopping, these are just fictional obstacles you’ve put in the way of your actually running that mile.  

For example, most people have trouble accomplishing their goals because they believe that things should be done in a certain way or in a certain time-frame. These restrictions represent all the “stories” we constantly represent to ourselves as truth, whether they are realistic for us, personally, or not. However, the main reason you can’t do those 20 push-ups is because you believe that these push-ups simply have to be done in a certain way. If you believe that you cannot run a mile, you will do everything possible to prove yourself right. Often, because of the story you’re telling yourself, you won’t even attempt to run that mile. And, even if you do attempt to run it, you will subconsciously choose an unrealistic pace that will make running that mile, literally, impossible. The irony is that we take the same approach with everything we do in our lives. Whether it be in our relationships, careers or fitness routines, we wake up every single day and start collecting data to support the stories we tell ourselves.  We gather facts – or, even fabricate them – in a desperate attempt to bring our stories to reality.

Being in the fitness industry for almost two decades, I’ve witnessed a lot of people who have hired numerous personal trainers and coaches just to prove to themselves over and over again that they are weak or inadequate. Believe it or not, some people join the gym only to become disappointed by their own lack of discipline. Why? Because most people simply cannot lose their desired weight in their expected time-frame or because they can’t perform as they think they should – all leading to personal frustration.  And, we label things as FAILURES anything that doesn’t meet our unrealistic expectations or falls outside our prescribed “little box”.

If you want to start running a mile or doing 20 push-ups, you must start by changing your story – the one you tell yourself, and the one you tell the rest of the world.  If you want to start achieving your goals and turning your life around, you must change what you feed yourself mentally, spiritually and physically.  

Tell yourself and others about things you Can Do.  

Educate the world around you about who You Truly Are.

Tell yourself that you Can Run a mile – before telling yourself how that mile should be run.

Tell yourself that you are Strong Enough to do 20 push-ups – before telling yourself how these push-ups should be done. 

Tell yourself and others that you are Good Enough and that you Deserve to be loved, seen, and heard – before you start setting some unrealistic expectation for yourself.  Change your story and the way You see yourself – before attempting to change the way you look and feel. 


Thank you and good luck.


Leo Frincu is a world wrestling champion, author, speaker and performance coach for business leaders and athletes worldwide. To learn more about his training philosophy, check out his latest book, “WELCOME HOME, 3 Simple Steps On How To Reach Your Highest Potential,” available on Amazon and iBooks.